Weight 176.5 - Your BMI is 33.3 which is considered obese. The maximum weight considered normal for you is 131.9 lbs. It is 44.6 lbs to reach this weight.What a kick in the teeth! I have been tracking my weight (formally) since August 2011 and at that time my starting weight was 174 lbs. Also at that time stress was at an all time high.
In Feb 2013 I tried again. This time was able to drop from about 166 lbs down to about 143 lbs (-23 lbs) in roughly 3 months.
Unfortunately the weight crept back almost at the same pace it was lost and by August 2014 I was back to 167 lbs (+24 lbs).August 2014 with renewed hope I pushed again and by Oct was able to drop to 153 lbs (-14 lbs).
Unfortunately for me again the weight came back with a fury. By July 2015 I was back up to 176 lbs (+23.5 lbs).
At 45 years old I am still baffled by the mystery of why sometimes and perhaps by some minute trigger, I can muster up incredible will power, hold on to it for a few months and then just as fast as it came to me, it leaves me with an un-ending hunger. Nothing can then stop the path of self destruction. It's like I am possessed by some crazy food demon. There are literally times when my stomach hurts from stuffing my face, but I forge onward. I cannot satisfy the hunger.
I don't get it... All I know is that I have decided to push again for the ultimate goal. I feel something familiar. I feel that will power returning. I literally have a tangible reason to lose the weight as in 1 year our family will travel to Mexico to attend my niece's wedding. The wedding aside, there is something more and I don't know what it is. I'll admit the wedding is the trigger but there have been several other triggers that came and went unrealized. This time I will attempt to capture my journey in a journal so that perhaps maybe some coordinates can be mapped or some clue can be found and maybe at the very least I can entertain myself by re-reading this on my next descent.
I think a few of my recent triggers have been related to my body shape and size and the problem I have had fitting clothes. I bet if I walked over to my closet I would find at least 5 pairs of dress pants that have become un-wearable simply because the waistband just rolls down my stomach leaving me to go mining for my undies as they too roll down my hips every 10 mins throughout the day.
I have literally fantasized about sewing wide panels of elastic to the waistbands of my pants to stop this madness! Who cares if my pants stop somewhere right below my bra!
Well I finally gave up on the pants and started wearing skirts with elastic waist bands. A relief except in winter when leggings or stockings need to be worn underneath. Back to shoving my hand down the back of my skirt to unroll the snake-roll ring of undies and stockings which now are sitting at the base of my rear-end. How pathetic! I shall call this trigger #1.
