In a Slump

I haven't lost anything in a few weeks. I had food poisoning last week - maybe my metabolism is confused. I have been working out almost every day. My calories are less than 1200/day and I feel smaller but only started measuring last week so not much loss.

My Christmas party is coming up on November 21st. According to my IPhone app "My Weight" I should be down to 146.5 lbs. The last time I was that small was in 1998. Back then my clothes fit so easy. I could wear sweaters with dress pants and I could cross my legs.

More Visualization

More visualization...

Instead of saying "I don't have time." try saying, "It's not a priority." and see how that feels!

It will be worth it in the end... DON'T GIVE UP!

Today I do what they don't...so that tomorrow I look how they won't!

MILESTONES/GOALS

Thanksgiving... 154.5

Halloween.... 150.5

Anniversary.... 146.5

Christmas..... 138.5

Valentine's Day.... 127.5

My Birthday.... 125

Easter..... 118.5

Mother's Day..... 108.5

The Cold Hard Truth About Men

So here is something I did not know...

Some men prefer skinny mates so that they have an edge over other men! It's a status thing! And the truth is that it is important to them that their mates are thin. And even though they tell you that you are beautiful and that they love you for how you are on the inside...deep down the truth is that they want you thin! I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the same concept applies to your male boss!

Thin girls get better jobs, more opportunity, are taken more seriously and even make more money.

I am not saying that this is right....and despite my opinion...the men I polled (who are decent and wonderful) were candid about this.

A woman who takes care of her body shows she works hard. It shows dedication, discipline, self respect & work ethic. - Men are visual

We are always being evaluated!

Despite how things "should be" - the truth is we are always being evaluated on our looks!

Fat Burning Zone

Time to add exercise to my routine!

Fat Burning Zone

Here is the Heart Rate Formula:

220 - Your Age (45) multiplied by (55-70%) = (96-122)

HEART RATE TO BE IN FOR ME = 96-122

Worked out on the elliptical for 30 min. today! My heart rate reached and stayed around 140-147 which is considered high intensity training.

I am incredibly motivated today as the scale dropped 3.5 lbs since last week!

Weekend Getaway

Made it through a weekend getaway in Banff! I managed to stay around 1500 calories Friday & Saturday with eating in restaurants which is about what a girl my height should be consuming anyway!

More Visualization:

Tiny
Dainty
Petite

Olivia Newton John - 1979 "Magic" - "All Your Dreams Alive"

So now compared with last week - I didn't even eat my allotted calories and I still felt great! I had tuna for lunch and that seemed to give me staying power!

Be Unstoppable

Tummy Trouble

Had a bad night last night. Was so hungry that I couldn't sleep. I was feeling agitated and I tossed and turned until finally went downstairs and had a rice cake with peanut butter. I woke up this morning with a loss of .5 lb.

I need to keep telling myself that this discomfort is temporary. The closer I get to goal - the easier 1320 calories will be. Now I need to build a life for me and my 1320 calories. I need to become comfortable. It needs to become normal. Its funny how deep down I always thought a person should eat as the person they want to become in order to get there.

I am really amazed! Are all you thin girls out there feeling like this? I mean really??? How do you do it for crying out loud!!!

Looking Back from the future:

Lesson Learned: 

1. Going to bed a little hungry is OK. Going to bed ravenous is not. This eventually leads to stomach pain and sleepless night. EAT ENOUGH CALORIES THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND DON'T STARVE!!!!

2. You can still be losing weight and not have such discomfort. Find the right caloric balance. Don't eat after 8 pm and a slight tummy rumbling was my sweet spot for losing but not suffering at a pace of 1.6 lbs per week.

3. Use a an app on your phone to log your food and track calories. Not eating enough is just as destructive as eating too much when you are trying to lose weight.

More Visualization:

Roxy
Yaght music
Dinner cruise
Slow dancing
Strappy shoes

The Math

I think the weight comes flying back on after a loss because you get to a point where you want NOT to think about calories, or reducing, or limitations. You want to just enjoy food & drinks but your brain forgets that you are smaller and that it takes less calories per day to maintain your weight, meaning that when you indulge those extra calories are immediately being added to the piggy bank and the savings grows!!

BMR

Generally speaking it takes somewhere around 9-12 calories per day per pound just to support vital body functions, say if you were resting the entire day.  This is known as your Basal Metabolic Rate or "BMR".  So at 176 lbs I must have been eating about 2112 calories per day.

There is some actual science used to find BMR - see Mifflin St. Jeor Equation:

For men: BMR = 10 x weight (kg) + 6.25 x height (cm) – 5 x age (years) + 5
For women: BMR = 10 x weight (kg) + 6.25 x height (cm) – 5 x age (years) – 161

It is important to know your BMR so that you understand your basic calorie needs per day. (especially since that changes as you change)

As I lose weight, it takes less to maintain BMR. At 142 lbs (around my lowest weight in the past 10 years) I should have been eating 1700 calories. At a fairly sedentary lifestyle, anything over the 1700 started adding to the "piggy bank". This explains the math part of the rebound weight gain. (The hormonal and other factors we will discuss later).

TDEE

Total daily energy expenditure is the entire amount of calories per day that you need both for sustaining vital body function as well as the energy to perform daily activities (based on your level of activity).

The amount and rate at which you want to lose weight is translated into to a daily calorie deficit and then subtracted from your TDEE. This also changes over time.

Fortunately for us there are a variety of Apps out there that do all this crazy math for us. The key thing to keep in mind is to understand that calorie needs change throughout your weight loss journey.

Here is a summary of my calorie requirements on day one of my journey:

If I want to be 110 lbs I would need to become comfortable with 1320 calories per day. *This is what I am living on now in reduction mode. I'm guessing that as I get closer to 110 the 1320 calorie limit will get easier to live with

Visualization Conquers Hunger

I was raised to eat like a woolly mammoth. Ever since I can remember I have taken portions equivalent to the adults who served them. As an adult female only 5'1 my plate has been equally proportioned to that of my husband at 5'11. Of course polishing off my plate as a subconscious duty in regard to the "starving children of the world".

According to my weight chart I have lost 11 lbs in 7 weeks which means on average I am losing 1.6 lbs per week. I have 55.5 lbs to go. At my height and weight I need to consume 1230 calories per day to meet my goal by June 29, 2016.

I am going to have to be strict about this! Incidentally a year ago I was the exact same weight and managed to lose 11 lbs by the end of October. I was down to 154.5 lbs!!

Definitely not  my all time low record for sure, but my record of 144.5 was achieved in 3 months (from my current weight now at 166 lbs). This means that by the end of November I could be at my lowest in 10 years! If I can remember correctly I was down to a size 6. So I need to lose roughly 10 lbs per month. That is what I am aiming for...

So how do I control the hunger? Well a little "hungry" is going to need to be associated with something incredibly positive. 

"I have to tip the scale from reward = eat to reward = a little hungry."

Some lists are in order!

Visualization List:

Clothes fit
Easier daily routine
Fun shopping for clothes
Abercrombie smell

Bronze skin
Jeans and heels with glowing skin & sparkly jewelry
Bracelets & blousy dresses with adorable heels
Crossing my legs
Comfy soft skin
Beachy tan, coconut oil
Beauty eyes, lips
Long beachy blond waves
Fun times, party fun, laughing
Glam
Dainty necklace, strapless dress, camisoles, teal

Admiration
Adoration
Treated as a lady
Noticed
Wanted, loved
Protected, guarded
Respected
Classy
Pretty
Sexy
Beautiful
Flirty/fun
Open/intimate
Limitless
Proud
Confident
Carefree
Happy

Kick In The Teeth

Weight 176.5 - Your BMI is 33.3 which is considered obese. The maximum weight considered normal for you is 131.9 lbs. It is 44.6 lbs to reach this weight.

What a kick in the teeth! I have been tracking my weight (formally) since August 2011 and at that time my starting weight was 174 lbs. Also at that time stress was at an all time high.

In Feb 2013 I tried again. This time was able to drop from about 166 lbs down to about 143 lbs (-23 lbs) in roughly 3 months.

Unfortunately the weight crept back almost at the same pace it was lost and by August 2014 I was back to 167 lbs (+24 lbs).

August 2014 with renewed hope I pushed again and by Oct was able to drop to 153 lbs (-14 lbs).

Unfortunately for me again the weight came back with a fury. By July 2015 I was back up to 176 lbs (+23.5 lbs).

At 45 years old I am still baffled by the mystery of why sometimes and perhaps by some minute trigger, I can muster up incredible will power, hold on to it for a few months and then just as fast as it came to me, it leaves me with an un-ending hunger. Nothing can then stop the path of self destruction. It's like I am possessed by some crazy food demon. There are literally times when my stomach hurts from stuffing my face, but I forge onward. I cannot satisfy the hunger.

I don't get it... All I know is that I have decided to push again for the ultimate goal. I feel something familiar. I feel that will power returning. I literally have a tangible reason to lose the weight as in 1 year our family will travel to Mexico to attend my niece's wedding. The wedding aside, there is something more and I don't know what it is. I'll admit the wedding is the trigger but there have been several other triggers that came and went unrealized. This time I will attempt to capture my journey in a journal so that perhaps maybe some coordinates can be mapped or some clue can be found and maybe at the very least I can entertain myself by re-reading this on my next descent.

I think a few of my recent triggers have been related to my body shape and size and the problem I have had fitting clothes. I bet if I walked over to my closet I would find at least 5 pairs of dress pants that have become un-wearable simply because the waistband just rolls down my stomach leaving me to go mining for my undies as they too roll down my hips every 10 mins throughout the day.

I have literally fantasized about sewing wide panels of elastic to the waistbands of my pants to stop this madness! Who cares if my pants stop somewhere right below my bra!

Well I finally gave up on the pants and started wearing skirts with elastic waist bands. A relief except in winter when leggings or stockings need to be worn underneath. Back to shoving my hand down the back of my skirt to unroll the snake-roll ring of undies and stockings which now are sitting at the base of my rear-end. How pathetic! I shall call this trigger #1.